Hospitality

When I think of hospitality, I think of pineapples and dinner guests and always having coffee and snacks ready for when anyone drops by. Having a bed for weary guests to spend the night in. And honestly, because I don't have my own house or coffee maker, I thought I was excluded from this hospitality thing. But I soon realized I had missed the whole point.

Last semester I had to take a class called Christian Ethics. We got to a point in the semester where my professor would make us apply every ethical dilemma or choice to hospitality, shalom and love. At first I did not understand how to do this at times, because I did not know how hospitality or shalom could have anything to do with these dilemmas. But as we had to apply them again and again, I started to realize that it was not that they didn't fit the situations, but that I had a very close minded view on hospitality, shalom, and even love. However, having to do this over and over I got to the point where I started seeing hospitality everywhere. We talk greatly about love. And I think many people strive for peace and shalom (even if they don't realize it).  But hospitality really jumped out at me.

We did a lot of defining of the word hospitality in class, but what it boiled down to in my mind was "making room for others". And as I thought about this I started to see how present hospitality was in my own life.

Recently I have made new friends who have been taking me to their church. This is a stretch for me because as an introvert, small talk and new people in group settings are the thing that drain me the quickest, but I'm putting myself out there and trying harder. This young couple has been so gracious to pick me up each week and drive me to church with them. They have made room in their day, in the car and in their lives. They introduce to me friends and let me share in their community. They are close with a family from this church that recently moved to a quaint neighborhood nestled in the woods, and they kindly invited us over for lunch after church yesterday. The men made a fire outside and us women talked while deconstructions metal hangers for the hot dogs and s'mores to follow. As we passed around the baby and grabbed glasses of water the hostess admitted that they almost didn't have anyone over because everyone was tired and the house was still a mess from the move. None of us cared in the slightest, and the vulnerable space was all the sweeter.

Being on the receiving end of good hospitality is one of the most uplifting and warming experiences. I think we all have a strong desire to have a sense of belonging, and that is exactly what hospitality does, it streams a sense of connectedness. So then I ask, what do I have to offer this world when I don't have a home to open up?

Then I realize, in my previous post on grief I mentioned a funeral I recently attended and I remember that it was in the car headed to the funeral where I realized that I had this opportunity to live out this view of hospitality in flesh. It wasn't cake and coffee, it was clearing my schedule for the day to support something of greater worth. I had to make space in my heart to grieve with this family. Making space wasn't necessarily the space in my home, but beyond. In my life and in my love.

I have recently also read the She Reads Truth study on Hospitality, which powered a lot of my thoughts for this post. The writer says that "In Jesus we find that hospitality begins in the heart". We can have perfect snacks, freshly washed floors and a plastered on smile, but if we are not welcoming someone with our heart, we are only pretending to be hospitable. Earlier today I laughed at a quote that said, "Hospitality is making someone feel at home, even if you wish they were".

Last year was focused much on confidence in paradigm with vulnerability, and I see the vulnerability card pulled out here again (obviously, because this is associated with connectedness). Letting people in our mess and our honest lives can be scary and hard. Clearing space can take risk. I have heard it said "when you say yes to something, you say no to everything else" and I feel like it is the same with this. In this we see that hospitality can be a self sacrificing thing. And self sacrificing is not always easy. To die to self is hard, because the flesh in us loves focusing on self. Making space for something, means taking away space from something else. Making space for someone means taking space from someone else, even if that is ourselves. In our hearts we have to decide to let people in. And make that space to love and care, to comfort and encourage.

I had to come to realize that hospitality was not asking me to give out of the extra or the ease, but out of the sacrifice, whatever that means for you.